《谁要一只便宜的犀牛》Who Wants a Cheap Rhinoceros附原文

Who wants a cheap rhinoceros? I know of one for sale, with floppy ears and cloppy feet, and friendly waggy tail. He's sweet and fat and huggable. He's quiet as a mouse. And there are lots of things that he can do around your house. For instance... You can use him for a coat hanger. He is a terrific back scratcher. And he makes a very lovely lamp. He will eat bad report cards before your parents see them. But he is not too great at opening doors. He makes a good bloody ferocious pirate. He can open soda cans for your uncle. And on Sunday you can read him the comics. He will be glad to turn a jump rope... ...if he gets his turn. He's not too careful about watching where he walks. But he's very handy for collecting extra allowance from your father. He makes an unsinkable battleship. But he is not too interested in taking his bath. It is very comfortable when you sit on his lap, but not too comfortable when he sits on your lap. He's terrific at helping your grandmother make donuts. And he is great for not letting your mother hit you when you haven't really done anything bad. He is very nice about crawling into bed with you on cold winter nights, and he is pretty good at tiptoeing downstairs for a midnight snack. And he'll gladly eat scraps from the table. He is terrific at being Ben and Charlie, two desperate crooks. And he loves to surprise you. He will be glad to help your aunt knit a sweater, especially if it is for him. He is careful about not leaving rhinoceros tracks around the house. He is fun to take care of when he is sick. And he is great for plowing your field if you are a farmer. He is hard to build a house for. But he is lots of fun at the beach because he is great at imitating a shark. He is wonderful for playing records if you have no record player. And on Halloween you can dress him up like a girl--but he won't like it. He loves to play hide and seek. He is good for yelling at. And he is easy to love.