长大不是一个人的事情Ⅲ⑻

Unrealistic Scenes 不切实际的场景 Graduation and Liberation/ 毕业与解放 Graduation day is a peculiar one. After spending four years completely immersed in the lives of your friends，you abruptly shift your attention to family and future. For weeks you，ve been in survival mode-papers and finals and late-night pizza and parties-and then suddenly there you are，on the day where you formally and finally exit this world that has been your... everything. I remember that sunny day in May well. My roommates and I were living off-campus in a building filled with upperclassmen. After spending two years in a dorm room of the size of a walk-in closet，this three-room apartment was heaven. On the morning of our graduation，the apartment was abuzz with preparations-hair，gowns，caps， and families arriving for the traditional brunch before the ceremony. My parents were recently divorced，so the day had been neatly split in two： the more affordable breakfast with Mom and my stepfather，followed by the expensive dinner with my dad and his girlfriend. Everyone would be at the graduation，of course，in separate seating. My roommate Margie，s parents arrived first，and then Annie，s. Everyone lingered，waiting for my family. I wasn，t worried at all and practically had to force them out of the apartment. Just as the apartment emptied，the phone rang. It was my sister Robin on the other end，and she was sobbing. They weren，t running late，they weren，t stuck in traffic，and they hadn，t had an accident. They hadn，t left yet，and they weren，t coming-at all. My mother was drunk. The apartment grew larger and emptier and quieter，and I grew more alone. How would I face my roommates and their families with this news？ “Why？”I wondered through tears I tried to stave off.“Why today？ Why me？” I hung up the phone and felt a chilled emptiness replace the excitement inside me. I considered lying to my roommates and their families. I considered not going to graduation at all. I considered not existing at all. I didn，t want to be in this messed up family. I didn，t want this story to be mine. What kind of graduation gift was this？ I let out a deep exhale of grief，and then sucked in determination. This is MY graduation day，I told myself. This is the day that celebrates my last four years of studying and learning. This is MY day. This is about ME. I draped my robe and cap over my shoulder and began walking to campus. I continued walking past the college until I got to our hangout. Opening the heavy door，I moved out of the sun and into the cool，dank darkness. There，even though it was morning and graduation day at that，I found another classmate having a beer. I hopped up on a barstool and joined him. There were even pastries laid out. In a booth alongside us，another friend sat with his family. I regained my sense of place，and a bittersweet feeling of belonging. With a beer and a pastry for breakfast，I reclaimed this day as mine and headed to my graduation ceremony. There，s not much more I remember from that day. Most of my friends were in the Business College so I sat among relative strangers in the college of Arts and Sciences-without having to explain my morning. There，s a photo of mewith the sun in my face as I received my diploma. Afterwards， I hugged friends goodbye and we all rejoined our families. My father took me to my favorite upscale Italian place. Though it seeped from my pores，there was no talk about my mother and what happened that morning，especially in the presence of our future stepmother. My sister and I smiled at each other from across the table with weary eyes and bruised hearts. My mother，s drinking got worse that summer and instead of joining the“real world，”I left it， backpacking through Europe in the fall while classmates embarked on careers. My graduation morning stands out as a defining moment in my life，s story，revealing a strength of character and purpose that I，m proud to call my own. 毕业日是个特别的日子。在过去的四年里，你完全沉浸在自己的朋友圈里，突然间就把注意力转向了家庭和未 来。有那么几个星期，你开启了“生存模式”——在深夜吃着比萨准备毕业论文、结业考试，毕业聚会更是让 人应接不暇。接着，你突然就迎来这一天：你最终正式走出这个世界，这个曾经构成你生命的全部的世界。 我清楚地记得那个阳光明媚的五月。我和室友们住在校园外面的公寓里，那里住的都是高年级学生。在衣帽间 大小的宿舍里住了两年之后搬进了这栋三室的公寓，简直是进入了天堂。 毕业典礼的那天早晨，大家在公寓里忙着典礼前的准备工作——梳发型、穿学士服、戴学士帽。家人也纷纷赶 来参加传统的典礼前的早午餐。因为我爸妈不久前离婚了，所以这一天预先被合理地分成两部分：先和妈妈、 继父吃一顿简餐，之后再同爸爸及他的女朋友享用一顿大餐。当然，每个人都会出席我的毕业典礼，只是座位 分在不同的区位。 室友麦琪的爸妈最先到，然后安妮的爸妈也来了。大家都徘徊在公寓里等着我的家人。我一点儿也不着急，还 催促他们先离开公寓。 当他们都离开公寓之后，电话响起了。是我妹妹罗宾打来的，她在电话那头抽泣着。他们不是误点，不是堵车，也不是遇到事故，而是压根就没出发。我妈妈大醉酩酊。 公寓里变得空荡荡、静悄悄的，我的孤独感在蔓延。收到这样的消息，我该怎样面对室友以及他们的家人？ “为什么？”我强忍着掉下的眼泪，心中暗想，“为什么是今天？为什么是我？” 我挂上电话，感觉心中的兴奋被一扫而空，取而代之的是冰冷的空虚。我打算对室友及他们的家人撒谎；打算 索性不去参加毕业典礼；我希望自己压根就没来到这个世上。 我希望自己不是生在这样混乱的家庭里，我希望这样的故事没有发生在我身上。这算哪门子的毕业礼物啊？ 我深呼一口气，将悲伤呼出去，将决心吸进来，我告诉自己：今天是我毕业的日子。这是对我过去的四年努力 求知、学习的祝贺。这是属于我的日子！我才是主角！ 我将学士袍、学士帽搭在肩膀上，开始往校园走。我一直穿行在校园里，直到走进我们的“集中营”。打开沉 重的大门，不见了灼热的阳光，我走进了凉爽、潮湿的阴暗里。尽管还是早晨，而且还是毕业的日子，我看见 还是有个同学在喝啤酒。我跳着坐上吧台的高脚凳，和他一起喝起来，还摆有点心。在我们旁边的隔间里，另 一个朋友正和家人一起围坐一起。我又找回了存在感，既苦又甜的归属感。酒和点心下肚，我决定把这一天当 作属于自己的日子来过，于是便前往毕业典礼现场。 我对那天的记忆并不多。因为我的大部分好朋友都是商学院的，所以我坐在相对陌生的文理学院的学生中间——这也省得我去解释我今早的遭遇。我有一张照片，照片上我接过毕业证书，脸上洒满阳光。接着，我和朋友 们拥抱告别，然后回到家人当中。爸爸带我去了我最爱的那家高级意大利餐厅。尽管我十分按捺不住，但我还 是没有谈论起妈妈的事以及早晨发生的事，尤其是当着未来后妈的面。我和妹妹隔着桌子相视而笑，眼里带着 疲惫，心中带着伤。 那个夏天，妈妈酗酒越来越厉害。为了逃离现实，我离开了家。秋天，当同学们开始了自己的职业生涯的时候，我没有选择踏入现实社会，而是选择了做一个背包客，走遍了欧洲。 毕业典礼的那天早晨在我的生命历程中熠熠夺目，那是我人生决定性的一个时刻。它表明我可以骄傲地说，我 有自己独特的个性和方向。 peculiar 【释义】n. 特权；特有财产 adj. 特殊的；独特的；奇怪的；罕见的 【短语】a peculiar mode of thinking 特殊的思维方式 immerse 【释义】vt. 沉浸；使陷入 【短语】immerse yourself in sth. 专心于 abruptly 【释义】adv. 突然地；唐突地 be abuzz with 忙于…… practically 【释义】adv. 实际地；几乎；事实上 【短语】practically certain 十拿九稳 emptiness 【释义】n. 空虚；无知 【短语】emptional emptiness 精神空虚 drape 【释义】n. 窗帘 vt. 用布帘覆盖 vi. 成褶皱状垂下 【短语】be draped in 覆盖 barstool 【释义】n. 酒吧高脚凳 upscale 【释义】adj. 迎合高层次消费者的；质优价高的 vt. 升高一级 【短语】upscale living area 高档生活区